I guest blogged, and feel super-special, like a real blogger. Lloyd’s The Year of Coffee Blog records the buzzes and twitches of a year’s caffeinated memories, oulipo-style.
After that cup I drove down to see my mom in Anaheim, and was greeted with a stack of junk mail — My mom saves all the mail for me to sort through, because the sly wording on junk mail these days makes it difficult for non-native English speakers to figure out what really is a bill, and what’s just a scam that looks like a bill. Most of these were credit card offers, addressed to my deceased father, a junk mail junkie.
By the time I got through the stack, I had a ream of paper scattered around me. A real waste of time, energy, and resources for both me and the planet.
I’d already forked over the $5 online fee to get my father’s name removed from Direct Marketing Association’s list — It’s free if you mail in the form, but I wanted the junk mail stopped ASAP and thought this would be faster — I thought seeing his name all the time might get depressing for my recently-widowed mother.
She’s fine, but the mail flow has not ebbed one bit. Apparently, it takes like six months. So when I got home today, I tried other tactics:
1. Opted out of credit card offers, permanantly — You can do this free online. If you can’t commit to forever, you can also opt out for 5 years.
2. Opted out of Val-Pak Coupons — Not really related to my father’s junk mail, but I took both my and my mom’s addresses off while I was at it.
3. Followed the 3 steps on New American Dream’s “Declare Your Independence from Junk Mail” page, including signing a petition to make it stop.
You can find even more ways to opt out via Obvious Implementations Corporation. Hopefully that’ll take care of most of it. After this, I’ll probably have to deal with each junk catalogue and letter on an individual basis, scruitinizing the stuff for customer service numbers and waiting on hold to speak to a rep who can help me. Joy.
Just did a copyedit — This post reads depressingly. I think I have the post-quals blues, otherwise known as a hangover from drinking too much after my last written exam yesterday…
Updates:
- Lenscrafters: Email CUSTINFO@lenscrafters.com with your name and address. You’ll get an email back confirming you were removed.(9/21/05)
- Pennysaver: Call (800) 422-4116. They have odd service hours, but you can leave a message with your address info for removal. (9/21/05)
- Local Community Values (big weekly tabloid-size clump of flyers): Call Joanne O’Malley at 626.472.5377 and leave a message with your address. Removal takes 10 days, she says. (9/26/05)
- Bed Bath & Beyond: Call 800.462.3966 and hold still till you get an operator. Tell her/him your name & address — you should be off the list in a couple weeks. (9/27/05)
- ShopWise (big weekly tabloid-size clump of flyers, and the “Have you seen us?” postcards): Go here, and fill out the online form to be removed in 6-8 weeks. (9/29/05)
- Dell: Go here, and fill out the online form to be removed. (5/7/06)
- Money Mailer: Send an email to jlimon@moneymailer.com, requesting to be removed from the mailing list and specifying your snailmail address. (5/29/06)
September 18th, 2005 at 3:40 pm
Sorry to hear about your dad:(. Never met mine, so don’t know (or care) if he was a junkie too. Clearly your most useful post (for me) so far. I’ll really miss that Val-pak crap… NOT! I’ll work on the other links too, even though my credit rating sucks and I only receive credit card offers from CapitalOne. Thanks:)!
September 18th, 2005 at 9:20 pm
You mean you didn’t find the “girly things I need and want” post helpful? :) My father and I actually were not at all close — That’s an understatement, since we hadn’t talked in many years. I was very concerned about my mom though, when he passed away.
Sorry to hear about your credit card rating — Grad school getting you down?
September 19th, 2005 at 5:42 am
sorry to hear about your father. even if you weren’t close, it’s still tough.
thanks for the extremely useful post! i’m always looking for more ways to cut back on the junk mail.
September 19th, 2005 at 9:01 am
I’m sorry about your father, too -and that you’re worried for your mom. That’s a hard spot to be in!
But thanks for the links. I’m going to go take advantage of several of them right this minute!
September 19th, 2005 at 5:39 pm
Thanks friends — Now if only I could get rid of spammers –
September 21st, 2005 at 11:54 am
Hey CL. Thanks for these links! I have sort of an abnormally fierce repulsion to junk mail, so I’ll find these links especially useful and thrilling.
January 18th, 2006 at 7:32 pm
Even though the junkmail sucks, and kills trees, it is what keeps postage rates as low as they are.
My boyfriend’s mother is a postal worker, and she reminds me of this whenever I whine about junk mail.
So I just toss it in the recyle bin and remind myself that it is why I’m not spending 2 bucks to send a letter.
Though yes, waste is bad.
January 13th, 2007 at 4:00 pm
hey g-girl -
this is great. i just spent half an hour de-junking myself. awesome! and a good reason not to work on my dissertation…
–jeff s.
February 22nd, 2007 at 11:39 am
That sounds like helpful info, haven’t had a chance to check them out yet. Have you heard of www.greendimes.com? For a one-time fee of $36 ($3/month) they will get you off all that pesky stuff, including catalogs, and they will keep you off by resubmitting your name periodically. Plus: they plant one tree a month on your behalf!
Personally, I’d rather spend $2 to mail a letter than waste incredible amounts of resources (trees, water, fossil fuels etc.)on junkmail that I do not want to have in my life in the first place. Even recycled- it is still such a waste.
March 21st, 2007 at 3:35 pm
Hi, thanks for letting people know about GreenDimes! GreenDimes is happy to help folks reduce their junk mail by getting them off direct mail lists and unsolicited offers, and opting them out of the catalogs they no longer want (while keeping the catalogs they do want!). AND GreenDimes plants a tree for every member every month.
Through the end of March, you have the chance to do even more good by signing up - GreenDimes is giving new members 25 BONUS TREES! Already a member?
Then refer a friend using your GreenDimes Friends tab and we’ll give both of you 25 bonus trees. Learn more at www.greendimes.com.
Thanks again for the post,
Kendra at GreenDimes
August 30th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
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December 19th, 2007 at 9:51 pm
Dynamite write up discussing Too much junk mail after coffee. Thoroughly enjoy this blog!