Last night could’ve been one of the yummiest in a long time. I went to a benefit for the Organic Consumers Association, held at Bonsorte Studios in Santa Monica. For a mere $20 — all of it going to the OCA’s California program — I got delish organic food and wine, a cute show by Lily Wilson, and a rousing speech from Ronnie Cummins, national director of the OCA.
The problem: I had to go to the benefit with a guy — let’s call him Lawyerboy2 — to whom I’d said just hours before: “I don’t think I can date anyone right now.”
OK — I totally take responsibility for the fact that I should’ve done this earlier — My procrastinating habit’s really getting me into trouble now. I just, you know, can’t get myself motivated to deal with uncomfortable situations.
So I called, said the above, and said that if he wanted, we could still go to the benefit together as friends. This was met with a long silence, then: “Ok. I’ll pick you up at 7:30.”
Shit.
Lawyerboy2 (right, in a blur) had enough pride to refrain from needling me with questions about my not wanting to date him. This did not, however, keep him from passive aggressively trying to pick fights with pointless questions, kicking things off with a “Why aren’t you trying to quit coffee? It’s bad for you,” punctuated with a wagging finger pointed at me, as we got on the freeway. Apropos of nothing.
I drank SO MUCH organic wine once we got there.
It was pretty yummy Frey wine, at least. And I deserved it, cuz during the drive back, I had to hear about how organic food didn’t matter, that its scope as a movement is limiting and basically useless. And being drunk, I sunk down to Lawyerboy2’s level to actually debate this drivel.
The only side benefit is that I think he never wants see me again, and will run the other way if we ever cross paths. Which is really all I wanted to happen in the first place.
Still dealing with a hangover. The lesson learned here? I’m so not listening to my friends any more about giving guys more of a chance. As soon as I sense my dislike growing, I’m outtie. Break up early, break up fast, and don’t even try to be friends. Cuz even if Lawyerboy2 seemed like a nice fellow, suggesting the OCA benefit and all, he turned into an argumentative asshole pretty damn fast.
Also, I’m never dating a lawyer again. Unless he works for the ACLU, maybe.
Filed in: organic oca losangeles santamonica california dating lawyers wine
is this the same guy we were talking about at maher? how funny. well, maybe now he’ll get the picture. and gosh … i sure hope he doesn’t read your blog or anything! ;-)
Comment by stephanie — November 5, 2005 @ 10:50 pm
There should be more women like you out there, well, not in the “not dating” sense, but in the “no friends” sense.
I have so many female friends that I never see my weekends are quite, well quiet ;p
As you say - break up early, break up fast. Additionally, I’m tempted to also say don’t spare the pain. Any hint of hope to a guy is a dangerous thing to the girl…
Hope hurts more than heart break…
Comment by Mark Derricutt — November 6, 2005 @ 12:05 am
Gee, whatever happened to casual dating? Is it “boyfriend” or nothing? When I was a single guy — and a lawyer no less — I would “go out” with different people, sometimes several times, on a casual basis. Sometimes those got serious for one or the other of us, and someone had to be let down. Sometimes we’d become mutually acknowledged “friends with benefits.” Sometimes, we’d just remain casual, and dating evolved into doing something with a friend — or two. Heck, I married a few of ‘em (grin).
I have heard it said that suffering is the one thing we can count on in life, but that we can avoid that by learning not to run our lives based on expectations and assumptions — such as the pain of the conversation (a self-fulfilling prophecy?) or expectations concerning other boys.
Ah well; ‘nuf old-guy advice. (grin).
Comment by Roger, Gone Green — November 6, 2005 @ 9:03 am
Dude, this WAS casual. It’s just that after a few dates, I knew — boyfriend or not — that he was never, EVER gonna see me naked — which would rule out the whole fuck buddy thing (that’s what we call “friends with benefits” today — FB for short ;). Casual dating’s not that fun if the guy’s a bad kisser.
In my defense, I tried to end things last weekend by saying that I wasn’t interested in anything serious. Unfortunately, he took this to mean, I think, that I wanted to be FBs — and asked me to come stay over at his place. Gross.
But I hear ya with the whole expectations thing. So I’ll add organic food loving lawyers back to the list ;)
stephanie — Yes — Same guy! He knows about the blog, but I’m hoping he’ll stay 10 feet away from anything that has to do with me now.
And Mark — Hope on — It’s an interesting feeling. You know, like a heartbreak.
Comment by Siel — November 6, 2005 @ 9:23 am
sorry, can’t weigh in on the angry lawyer aspect, but will make another organic wine comment. frey looks like they deserve props for their trendsetting ways in the “greed and wack clothes” 80s. for a compelling corporate winery meets sustainability story, you should check out paul dolan’s book, true to our roots. i haven’t read it, but i remember being impressed when i heard him speak in LA a few years ago…
Comment by justin — November 7, 2005 @ 8:49 am
I’m thinking lawyerboy2 is not so bright if he KNOWS about your blog and still thought that arguing with you about organic food and coffee was somehow a good idea. For godsakes, it’s almost like a guy trying to impress me by telling me I’d look really cute barefoot and pregnant. ;-)
Siel, I’m just curious … is there a good lawyerboy1 story too then? Do tell!
Comment by Stephanie — November 7, 2005 @ 11:31 am
Hey Justin — I just added True to Our Roots to my froogle wish list :) Thanks for the suggestion! Will report on it later.
Stephanie — There is a lawyerboy1 story too — with some striking similarities to the lawyerboy2 story. More later ;)
Comment by Siel — November 8, 2005 @ 5:40 pm
a lawyer turned into an argumentaitive asshole after getting let down. no! really? only in LA
buah ha ha ha…
Comment by lee — February 5, 2006 @ 7:37 am
Sometimes I’m kinda slow to learn from my mistakes :) Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson and there won’t be argumentative asshole stories involving a lawyerboy3…
Comment by Siel — February 5, 2006 @ 11:24 am