Sometimes my past selves haunt me, with feelings that now seem foreign, with thoughts and habits I no longer recognize.
Yesterday, while writing the Javatrekker post, I looked up posts I’d written about the Ethiopian coffee trademark agreement — and found I’d written DOZENS about this obscure issue. It’s like I seriously tracked every single story that came about the issue and added my two cents to each one. Some posts even obsessively catalog other posts, trying to organize them into timelines and FAQs.
Where did I get that kind of sustained energy? And more importantly, where the fuck did it go?
I’m not sure if I’ve become a shadow of my former self, or if my interests have simply shifted. In a way, this could be a good thing. Maybe a little less obsessive cataloging’s good for my soul.
But I can’t tell the difference between a neurotic obsession and a healthy passion and interest. There was definitely a time when I felt more passion about fair trade issues, about convincing others about the import of them, about dissecting these issues in writing. There was definitely a time when I felt more passion for a lot of things.
Those passions, it seems, have either faded and dulled. Or maybe it’s simply that I’ve explored them enough to sate my curiosity. It’s not that I don’t care anymore; it’s that obsession requires a mystery that no longer exists –
Or maybe the cumulative months of drinking have caught up to me and my brain is now not producing enough dopamine, or whatever the hell it needs to feel excited enough to explore and write about stuff. Maybe it’s the drugs.
Or maybe this is just how life is, a series of waves of different interests and obsessions and passing fancies. They all come and go, some lasting longer than others, but fading away nonetheless –
Perhaps my life is nothing but an image of this kind; perhaps I am doomed to retrace my steps under the illusion that I am exploring, doomed to try and learn what I should simply recognize, learning a mere fraction of what I have forgotten.
– Andre Breton, Nadja
Nadja gets cheerier if one reads on, BTW. And for now I’m gonna try to write a post about fair trade related stuff once a week –
Photo by feaverish via Flickr
January 16th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Dear Siel,
yes, life goes by waves, but let’s be brief AND to the fact.
You have got this website and posts cool advice to people for being better (greener) consumers
You also show local greens and daily green news
So, let’s recap:
1) You walk your talk for this planet
2) You are not self centered because here you show compassion
3) Whenever you stop this site, one day, if you do, you would have done more than many who just care about money or how they look, or what they can gain in a short term in life.
DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF Siel: YOU ROCK! Just be, girl, and continue to show people the way!
You have a noble heart…
January 17th, 2008 at 4:01 am
Dear Siel,
I’d add to what Pascal wrote that you’ve also done more for the environment & people than a great many environmentalists & social justice types (not that its a competition). I’d hate for you to sell yourself short.
And, on that note, I’ll share this little back-of-a-napkin calculation regarding that “obscure” issue of trademarking Ethiopian coffee:
In the last year the Ethiopians seem to have successfully leveraged the trademarking issue so as to assert themselves and indeed achieve greater bargaining power with foreign coffee buyers. Specifically, at least some of the coffee unions (like Tadessa’s Orimia co-op) are asking, and getting, 50 cents more per pound than before.
It’s too soon to say if they’ll be able to do this year after year.
BUT if you assume that this 50 cent rise applies to, say, 1/3rd* of Ethiopia’s coffee exports (as not all of the coffee will qualify for top dollar in the specialty market) it means an extra $60,000,000 in coffee export earnings annually.
(*I’m just pulling this fraction out of thin air)
Here’s the data:
Ethiopia’s annual coffee exports** 2,800,000 bags (ea bag = 60 kg)= 370,000,000 pounds X 1/3 = 122,000,000 pounds X 50 ¢ premium = $61,000,000 annually.
Note: as we (Equal Exchange) buy directly from Orimia the extra 50¢ is going to the farmer co-op, but our buyer isn’t sure it works so well with the rest of Ethiopia’s exports. Maybe the gov’t or others are taking a slice. It would be interesting to learn more.
Still, if this guestimate is at all in the ballpark I’d say that an extra $60M for a very poor country like Ethiopia makes this much more than an “obscure issue”. For ex, it’s probably at least as worthy as all your posts about organic hard liquor.
**Global coffee exporting stats http://www.ico.org/prices/m1.htm
note: Equal Exchange has also signed the Trademark and Licensing Distribution Agreement with Ethiopia.
January 17th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Nadja, perhaps. Or Rumi
” … a game goes on.
I move and you respond.
You are winning, you think it’s funny.
But look up from the board now, look how
I’ve brought furniture to this invisible place,
so we can live here.”
Maybe Fair Trade,
a community of like mind and heart, has moved in.
Companions now, not an obsession.
P.S. I came to the site to get a link of obsessive detail to email la wavering friend. You past lives on.
Oh, and Hi Rodney.
January 25th, 2008 at 10:51 am
To Siel,
I saw on Green Blogging: or Me TV feedia , on Internet.
I like your thinking, On recycling and most what said. If have more peep like you in world, what a wonderful world it would be.
But as know I too find most and a lot people who won’t take a part in recycling or do green. Because most of them won’t give up comfort of big cars and traveling far to work. Very few will move close to their job. Or take bus to work, city bus where I live, are very unreliable , they don’t run them around clock all day and night. So this is reason I have to use a car. But this cars I have is a Prius, hybrid one best to use less gas on road. I lot people who talk to won’t buy it because they it cost in long run on battier. But they are right and wrong at same time. In long run it will help cut down on using gas. This is how I see it, you have give up something to gang something. And so what cost to replace battier. It would cost you more to buy gas and harm environment, by using gas.
I do recycle what can. Hoping trash man do their part too.
I recycle my leaf in fall and have old neighbor who blame us for mold problem from compose bend.
But she and her husband are old and don’t have a brain. You try reason with them but they seem like want to override you, make think you know nothing. It very hard to reason with redneck, where I live.
I been into Environment Since 1992. Most where I Live don’t want make a change unless become a laws.
It tough wars where I live.
But really like what your doing keep up good work.
Stay in touch!
Jim
January 25th, 2008 at 1:03 pm
Thanks for the encouraging words, men :) I’ve been writing incrementally more re: fair trade — a bit easier with all the FT choco flower stuff going on for V-day –
January 26th, 2008 at 6:34 am
Hi again,
I was just got done reading on Aol News, they are talking about High Gold Prices Spur Rush to Alaska.
This is what come from Article they saying. Goodrich said small-scale miners, the numbers of which are increasing as gold prices spike to an all-time high of more than $900 an ounce, generate 95 percent of her business. Here, she displays gold flakes, nuggets and an 18-pound brick that’s worth about $250,000.
Okay someone want get rich, that fine. Mean while what will become to mother earth when you bleed her? You pollute streams and ocean, in search for gold.
South America, is having their problem for Diamond, you hose aways earth in search of Diamond, to get rich. They make excuse of paying bills.
Why did they have to advertise and make more problem again. It make me sick. And these so call illiterate people, who want to get rich quickly and destroy our planet earth same time do it with.
Who do we blames? Should we blames our School for make School a big playing pin, for dummy who don’t want to studies hard in school, who think Footballs and Basketball and other sports and cheerleader is more importance then understanding other problem we are face in today world. As I have works in many school over years, I found it easy to please a parent who, just don’t care about future. Because he or she been raise on beer and drug or not well educated and don’t want to face reality of world in their owns back yard. It easier to call Environment people crazy, like do Al Gore. Unless something become laws then they will follow rules hopefully.
Every time I try think what can we do to make this world better place to live. Some fool want to get rich like advertisement on Aol News, They want to tell you what trade off are. The problem don’t stop there either. There is so many other problem we face in many part around world, beside the state and Canada, South . Not saying what China is doing. There no end to it. I just wish American people could see and understand thing. Instead of taking job that won’t contribute to making more problem.
I have solution and ideal, but then if you heard them all. I don’t want to piss anymore people off. Is better to go along with Stupid today. Or take a stand in what you believe?
Today I belong to three wise monkey, I say nothing, I see noting, I say nothing. What a wonderful world we live!
Jim
P.s. I am very aware of growing problem with school are having today and I have work with many teacher over years. Was very amaze how they have their hands ties. just ask me any question about education world.
January 26th, 2008 at 6:50 am
yes I know made a few error in this letter, sorry I didn’t take the time to editor my letter I wrote.
7 paragraph : They won’t tell you what trade off are
9 paragraph : I won’t, I say nothing, I see noting, I hear nothing!
Hey any question feel free to ask!