Originally published Jan. 4, 2010. Happy holidays!

Love the holiday gifter but hate the gift — and maybe even temporarily love the gifter a little less due to the hideousness of the “gift” you got? We’ve all got our horror gift stories — but we need not jettison the unwearables and unusables and unlook-at-ables into the landfill. Here’s how to turn those abominations into new admirable gifts and creative endeavors, reducing waste while having a little fun:

1. Put it on Etsy and submit it to Regretsy. If you haven’t discovered Regretsy yet, you’ve been missing out on a lot of horrified laughter. This site — with the tagline “Handmade? It looks like you made it with your feet” — proudly features the ugliest and scariest of goods put up for sale by people who fancy themselves crafters. We’re talking handmade destroyed jeans — a.k.a. extremely old dirty jeans with holes containing a disembodied knee, no less! — to an eco-intentioned but just grotesque crapeau made with upcycled prune juice containers.

I know what you’re thinking: Regretsy’s fun, but how exactly will a website pointing out how ugly my “gift” is actually help me get rid of the gift? Believe it or not, quite a number of items that make it onto Regretsy sell quite well! April Winchell, Regretsy’s creator, told Wall Street Journal’s Speakeasy blog she loves it when the fugly items sell: “People send me emails and say, ‘I sold a painting, so revenge on you.’ But that’s what I wanted the whole time!”

So why not try Etsy-Regretsy-ing your “gift,” maybe offering it for just the price of shipping? Putting an item on Etsy to simply get it featured on Regretsy is gaming the system a bit, I suppose — but the sheer scariness of items like the masturbating dinosaur wall art already makes me think some Etsiers must be deliberately dabbling in craftwrecks….

That dino sold, BTW. So did the crapeau! Did you get it for Christmas?

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For crafty upcyclers, knitting’s a handy tool. Got an ugly holiday sweater or heinous birthday socks? Vent your anger by ripping it apart — and reknitting it into something cute or useful. Reknitting pre-loved yarn’s one of my hobbies — a creative challenge that keeps my knitting green too.

Upcycled yarn, in fact, is one of the many sustainable knitting options highlighted in Knitting Green: Conversations and Earth Friendly Projects, a new book by former Knits magazine senior editor Ann Budd. This eco-educational book highlights eco-friendly yarns from organic cotton to silky soy — with patterns for knitting projects using these yarns, complete with photos showcasing how good sustainable knitting can look.

In Knitting Green, would-be eco-DIYers are first given a rundown of the environmental issues associated with knitting — because while the human-powered act of knitting itself’s an eco-friendly endeavor, the process of creating yarn is often not. For eco-fashionistas with some knowledge of sustainable fibers, many of the green knitting issues Ann brings up will be familiar. Conventional cotton‘s grown with a lot of pesticides, bamboo yarn’s processed with noxious chemicals, and wool poses both animal rights and chemical pesticide issues. And that’s even before the yarn gets dunked in un-green dyes and shipped half way across the world!

Knitting Green then goes into solutions, highlighting eco-friendlier choices people can knit together using the many new greener yarns now on the market. Patterns range from the Back-to-Nature Hat made with organic O-Wool, an all-(north)-American hoodie made with wool that’s grown, harvested, and processed, in the U.S — and for the really crunchy knitters, soap nut vessels for the laundry, knit with hemp yarn.

I found many of the styles for the patterns rather busy — but being somewhat of a minimalist, that’s my complaint about most knitting books. The patterns I wanted to knit up were the accessories, like simple and functional socks and slippers I could wear around the house. My favorite pattern is the Paris Recycled Scarf (right). The “yarn” comes from lightweight silk fabric, sliced up!

Want to be an upcycling knitter yourself? Make that your Earth Week goal, because Knitting Green‘s publisher Interweave’s launched the Knitting Green Challenge “to encourage the knitting community to rip up, repurpose and make their own yarn this Earth Day.” Then turn your favorite hobby green everyday with some help from Knitting Green, available for $24.95.

Earlier:
>> Reknit: Turn an ugly sweater into a pretty scarf for $30
>> Eco-friendly wool yarn for green knitters

Image courtesy of Interweave

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Originally written on Sept. 2, 2005, this post is constantly updated and occasionally reposted at Siel’s whim.

Put down The Secret. Here’s the green Angeleno’s guide to the good life:

Eat & Drink

1. Get caffeinated. Drink coffee and tea that tastes better and does good. Find your local organic fair trade coffee shop — or if you must go to Starbucks, take the Starbucks Challenge.

2. Dare to eat a peach — a fresh juicy one from a local farm. Enjoy the tastiest, most eco-friendly fruits and veggies possible — without going out of your way.

3. Get your protein. Opt for grass-fed, free range, organic, and local meat, milk, and eggs, stick to sustainable seafood, and go easy on the highly processed veg meats.

4. Do happy hour. Find out how to green your drink — from beer to wine to shots to cocktails and beyond.

5. Indulge in dessert. Eat ice cream, sorbet, and chocolate. Fair trade and organic options are easy to find now –

6. Learn to cook. Take a local, organic cooking class. There’s bound to be one suited to your diet and lifestyle.

7. Treat yourself. Dine out at an eco-friendly restaurant — or get organic meals delivered to your doorstep.

8. Lose the junk. Try an eco-friendly diet — or just scare yourself into eating better.

Get Around

1. Take a walk — It’s sunny out! Easiest way to get walking more often: Live in a walkable spot. But wherever you are, discover one-mile-radius living.

2. Bike it. My pink townie saves me lots of money and parking hassles — and the Los Angeles biking community’s helpful and friendly.

3. Ride easy — whether on bus or rail. Some bus routes will actually get you to your destination faster and cheaper than in a car, especially if you account for the driving time spent looking for parking — and the money spent paying for it.

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>> Do polar bears turn you on — to safer sex? The Center for Biological Diversity’s giving away 100,000 free Endangered Species Condoms beginning on Valentine’s Day, with slogans like “Cover your tweedle, save the burying beetle”!

The freebies are a reminder that creating a brand new American’s about the ungreenest thing you can do for the planet, even if you can afford organic, flushable, biodegradable diapers. No telling where the giveaway spots will be on Valentine’s Day, but you can enter to win a lifetime supply of free condoms! Earlier: All condoms.

>> Fake Plastic Fish’s Beth Terry complained about all the plastic Valentine’s Day crap at her local store — so I put together a plastic-free romance guide of eco-friendly Valentine’s Day gifts — complete with an upcycled, handknit teddy bear. Yes, I knit a bear –

>> Salon’s feminist blog Broadsheet has a great list of what to click this Valentine’s Day if you’ve decided not to go to any of the green Valentine’s weekend events I recommended happening around town. Salon’s list’s good for both Valentine’s Day lovers and haters –

Image via endangeredspeciescondoms.com

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Does the cold winter weather have you staying in to knit warm woolen mittens and scarves? If so, you may be going through the same conundrums I’m dealing with. DIY knitting can be a very eco-friendly hobby, but knitters who want to keep their handmade goods environmentally-friendly and cruelty-free will likely find wool yarn shopping challenging, to say the least.

I started to realize this when I got some new woolen yarns to try from Stitch Nation by Debbie Stoller. Yes, the Debbie behind the Stitch & Bitch books I love has come out with a new line of pretty-colored yarns — a 100% peruvian wool yarn called Full o’ Sheep, a viscose from bamboo and wool blend called Bamboo Ewe, and a wool and alpaca blend called Alpaca Love.

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